Creating this thread has been on my mind for a long time but for some reasons I kept shelving it but after coming across a thread on front page about a 41 year old single lady asking for advise I think it is about time I drop this.
Now what you are about to read is for ladies who are still single in their late 30s and I will make it as simple and as real as possible…
You will never come across the advise I’m about to give you from pastors or many relationship experts but as many people already know me, I keep it as real as possible.
1. Understand that not everybody will get married:
Marriage is not a do or die thing… Marriage does not define who you are and you must never be bothered by what people say cos most of them are Clueless about the institution of marriage. Those who truly understand will never look down on you because you are single. Your happiness is more important than marriage.
2. Be financially independent: Any single lady in her late 30s should never make it a priority to get married cos the more you worry about it the more pressure you put on yourself and this is bad for your psych.
At this stage of your life, self actualization is what you need and trust me, by the time you make it a priority to get the best out of life, this will inadvertently gravitate men to you.
Before I give this third advise let me share this very touching story…
I remember a certain lady who contacted me about 6years ago and she said she has made up her mind to be a single mum if she turns 36 and she is still unmarried and asking me to be ready to donate sperm for her cos she sees me as a responsible guy… Furthermore, she will not put any pressure on me to be financially responsible for the child as she is well to do but she just want to have a child to avoid a situation where she will reach menopause and still childless.
Unfortunately she left this world before she could make this happen… So What is the point?
3. GET A SPERM DONOR TO BEAT EARLY MENOPAUSE.
The paramount purpose of a lady is not necessarily marriage but to multiply, bring forth new generations and replenish the earth. The good thing is that with the modern medical advancement, any lady can achieve this without getting married.
Believe it or not, it is better to get a sperm donor and be a single mum than getting married under pressure to a jerk who will make life hell for you.
If you are a lady still single in your late 30s please get a man to donate sperm for you. You don’t have to sleep with him and he needs not be financially responsible for the child but just for you to point to somebody in future as the child’s father. This will let you relax to get a better choice of a husband.
4. A man who will love you will love you.
Some may say once they are single mums, guys will run from them and YES I agree but this will also attract real men who understand that single motherhood is not a taboo but Infact a proof that a lady is fertile, a proof that she is responsible enough to keep a baby even when they had the choice to abort.. No genuine man will reject a lady cos she is a single mum especially if the child(ren) is her first.
5. And lastly as suggested by Pocohantas in the comment below… If you are open to polygamy, give it a shot.
According to her, as a lady gets older in Nigeria, it gets harder to see a never-been-married man with noble intentions. So if you don’t mind polygamy, if you just want to have your kids by one man, find one polygamous man and have all your kids with him.
All I wrote, this is an opinionated advise but any lady in this position could still decide to wait until she finds a husband but she must understand that whilst she is waiting, her time is ticking and menopause will definitely come regardless.
I hope this makes sense.