ONE day, one trouble best describes our experience as a nation of peoples in our country called Nigeria. By the way, One Day One Trouble is a popular Nigerian Nollywood comedy-drama movie on the life a man trying to survive doing various jobs while dealing with a cantankerous wife, until a rich woman enters his life and everything went topsy-turvy. I also think that movie title was inspired by a novel written by Anezi Okoro, a professor of skin diseases, titled One Week, One Trouble, which depicted the escapades of a young boy just admitted into a secondary boarding school.
So, our latest trouble or drama (pardon me, it’s actually a trouble belonging to the president and his men in government) is the one relating to the Presidential Foreign Investment Promotion Council, PFIPC, whose Director-General is one Prince Matthew Adeniyi Adeyemi. I am not going to bore you with the details of this particular shenanigan; we all know the latest about this grand sakamanje. Remember my definition of sakamanje? It is a Nigerian street word that describes doing something by sleight of hand, or brain, if you like, with an outcome that looks magical.
Or how else does one describe an agency in the Presidency, with offices in the Federal secretariat, and funds allocated to it in the current budget, and allegedly operating accounts with the Central Bank of Nigeria? And government tells us that it is a fake agency, that the director-general is an impersonator? Sakamanje!!!
While the president and his men are trying to unravel this sakamanje, I am of the opinion that it was waiting to happen. In fact, PFIPC may not be the only “fictitious” agency of the Federal Government. Let me explain. By 2012, there were 541 Ministries, Departments, and Agencies, MDAs, of the Federal Government. Apparently thinking that this was unwieldy, the president at the time, Dr. Goodluck Jonathan commissioned a panel headed by Mr Steve Oronsaye, a former Head of the Civil Service of the Federation to fashion out modalities on managing the crowd.
What is in the public domain about the report is that Jonathan’s government released a white paper on it. The white paper probably changed colour, so Buhari, who came after Jonathan, released a second white paper in August 2022, but did not implement the report.
Tinubu came in and in 2024, seeing that the second white paper might also change its colour, decided to do something about it, perhaps for the optics, since we didn’t hear anything about it again. According to a media statement from Mr Bayo Onanuga, the Tinubu government set up an eight-man committee with a 12-week timeline “to ensure that the necessary legislative amendments and administrative restructuring needed to implement the reforms are effected in an efficient manner.”
Further from Onanuga’s statement: “The committee comprises Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Head of the Civil Service, Attorney General and Justice Minister, Budget and Planning Minister, DG Bureau of Public Service Reform, Special Adviser to the President on Policy Coordination, Special assistant to the president on National Assembly. The Cabinet Affairs Office will serve as the secretariat.”
Since then, more than two years ago, nothing further has been heard on the matter. What is galling, and speaks volumes is that between Jonathan’s administration which had 541 MDAs, Buhari, and now, Tinubu, the number of MDAs has risen astronomically to 1,316! With such a huge number of MDAs, it will take a superman to oversee all of them, even perfunctorily, not to say efficiently. With 1,316 MDAs, a smart Alec can exploit the unwieldy situation, create his own department, and insert himself into the federal bureaucracy and into the budget. That is if you believe the Presidency that the agency is fake. It is quite possible that in the bid to “accommodate” all those that “worked” during election, the PFIPC was birthed to give job to the boys. My point here is that if the government were lean and not so unwieldy, it would be difficult, if not impossible for a fictitious agency to be created and inserted into the Presidency by a smart Alec, as government now claims. Now is the time for President Tinubu to downsize the government and use a magnifying glass to scrutinise the MDAs. Maybe there are more PFIPCs hidden in plain sight!
Garlands for the Police
I must commend officers and men of the Nigeria Police Force on recent accomplishments. First, the Ogun Police Command, which solved the murder of Ms Kitan Oyesiku, a retired TV broadcaster in two weeks! Oyesiku was murdered in her residence and her car was stolen. The Police moved in, unraveled the murder, and arrested the suspects who have since confessed to the crime. Also, I give “kundus” to the Police in Ogun and Lagos states headed by Commissioners Bode Ojajuni and Fatai Tijani. Operation Kosaye, launched and prosecuted by the two commands has boosted public confidence in the capabilities of the Police. And in Delta State, the police engaged kidnappers in a gun battle and rescued victims. If the Police had always been like this, maybe the clamour for state police may not have arisen. All the same, kudos to these gallant officers and men of the Nigeria Police Force!
