By Bunmi Sofola
Angela was in her mid 30s when she became broody. “I began to wonder if I’d ever settle down, and become a mum”, she said. “To say I’d live life to the full so far would be an understatement. My 20s and the majority of my 30s had consisted of mild partying, travelling as an air hostess and being a free spirit. Long-term relationships had never stuck and I was the ultimate single girl. Thanks to my job, I’d met a string of interesting men who treated me like a priced possession.
“But as soon as I hit 35, something inside changed, suddenly, it dawned on me that time was running out – and so were my options. Panic started to set in and the money I would have spent on having a good time went into a special savings for the child I intended to have. A few of my colleagues had had designer babies through the IVF and I reckoned this might be my safest bet as men in my age bracket were either married or not interested in fathering children after they’d had all the ones they wanted.
“In spite of my option to be a single mother, I was still worried I might miss the boat. The thought of never being a mum made me really sad. I might have been known as the life and soul of the party but I wanted to create a life too. Though I’d met plenty of Mr. Wrongs! All my previous relationships had been fun but I’d never met a man who was daddy material.
“I was at a friend’s party having a good time when I found myself dancing next to an interesting looking cheeky guy when he suddenly clasped me to his chest when the tempo of the music changed. ‘I don’t believe we’ve met before’, he shouted, introducing himself over the loud music. ‘I’m Alex’, ‘Angela’, I smiled, flashing him a cheeky smile. Soon we got chatting and it wasn’t long before his witty personality won me over – not to mention his good looks. He turned out to be a friend of a friend, charming, handsome – and a lot younger than me.
“You’re 24’, I repeated in shock when we met up a few days later for a meal and he dropped the bombshell. Did that make me a cougar? My old god-time girl spirit came to the surface as our relationship progressed. He was flirty, fun and took my mind off my biological clock. He looked a lot older than he was and seemed to have a wise head on his shoulder. He wasn’t bothered about my age and I didn’t care about his. We’d stay up all night chatting and laughing about our mutual love of partying, socialising and drinking.
“Then there was the sex! I’d forgotten what a high sex drive was until I bedded Alex. He was a young man in his prime. I could be tired or hungry and he still wanted more!
“A few months into our relationship, we realised we’d run out of condoms. But Alex wasn’t fazed as he drew me to him. As we made love, a big smile crept across my face. Alex was an educated man – he knew exactly what could happen but he was caught up in desire – he wanted me. And in that moment, there was one thing I wanted too. His sperm! After that, he never mentioned using protection, yet we continued having fun under the sheets. Part of me didn’t even know if I could get pregnant anyway. I’d read in a magazine that women in their late 30s often struggle to conceive. But after each marathon session, I’d lie there and find myself day dreaming about children.
“Although Alex was far from dad material, I didn’t care, I realised this was my chance not only to fulfil my baby dream, but save myself the expense of an IVF treatment. By now I’d deliberately stopped mentioning contraception too and Alex was willingly having sex without it, so why should I care? Then, months into our relationship, to my surprise and happiness, I missed my period. Rushing into a chemist’s, I bought two pregnancy tests – and both tests were positive. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
“A grin lit up my whose face. ‘I’m going to be a mum’, I whooped. It was something I never imagined I’d be able to say. I bubbled with happiness. This really was all I ever wanted. I thought I’d been lucky bagging myself a toy boy, but now I’d bagged myself a baby too.
“That same evening, I waited for Alex to arrive from work. Hands shaking with nerves, I hoped he’d be as happy as I was, afterall he knew the consequences of what could happen when you have unprotected sex! As he walked through the door, I smiled at his naive young face.
‘So…I’m pregnant’ I blurted as we sat on the sofa. He just stared at me blankly. Letting out, a big sigh he asked: ‘Is it mine?’ ‘Of course, it is’. I replied. Silence fell between us. ‘I’m keeping it’, I told him bluntly. This was my chance, perhaps my only chance of motherhood. Although the circumstances weren’t ideal, I knew it was fate.
“There’s no pressure on you though”, I babbled on, “it’s up to you how involved you want to be’ Alex said he’d need some time to think about it, though we stayed together. After all, nothing had changed for him – yet. But soon my mood swings set in. As Alex tried to come to terms with the news, my hormones were running riot. Morning sickness had begun, I’d stopped drinking, and in his eyes, I’d stopped being fun. As things became more real, the spark faded between us and our relationship fizzled out. ‘I can’t do this’. Alex finally admitted months into my pregnancy. ‘Ok’, I told him. ‘I understand’. But far from being heart-broken, I was actually over-joyed. Now, I could do things my way! I didn’t need the added complications of an unsuitable man in my life anyway.
“In time my daughter Gemma was born. She was perfect – I was over the moon with joy looking down at the gorgeous little bundle in my arms. Although by now there was no love lost between Alex and I, I still wanted to give him a chance to be a dad. So picking up the phone, I told him about the birth. It was his choice if he wanted to be a Gemma’s life. ‘I don’t want anything to do with any bay, I’m in a new relationship now’, he said bluntly. As I glanced at my little angel I smiled with relief.
“I’d never want to hurt Alex’s feelings, but doing it alone was exactly what I’d wanted all along. One day, I know Gemma will want to know about her dad. And when she’s ready, I’ll tell her. Until then, it’s just me and her – and that’s great with me. I might be a single mum, but I’m having a brilliant time”.
The toy-boy that was the best thing to happen to this cougar!
Winter of Discontent? (Humour)
Pensioner Frank marries his teenage bride and celebrates by throwing a dinner party for his closest friends. As coffee is served, they end up discussing the 60-year age gap difference and what effect it has on the relationship. Particularly in the bedroom.
“We don’t have any problems, do we darling”, Frank smiles, gazing at his wife. “I may be in the winter of my years, but summer is still in my hearts”. “That might be how you see it”. “That might be how you see it”, muttered his bride. “But you could certainly do with some spring in your trousers”.
